Why do You Love Me?

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. Ephesians 1:3-8

Simplest questions are the most difficult to answer.

Sometimes the simplest answer is the hardest to arrive at. As I was rocking and snuggling my youngest today, I kissed his neck and said, “I’m so glad you belong to me.”

He’s only four but he still knows how to ask difficult questions. One that had me especially stumped once was, “Will you tell Gabriel to open his mouth? He’s chewing in my eye.” However when I translated that, inserting ‘open’ to ‘close’ and ‘eye’ to ‘ear,’ I figured it out.

But today when I said I was glad he belonged to me, he asked me a harder question.

He asked, “Why?”

Any parent knows that there’s a million different reasons mixed up in one for that answer. And true to my M.O. I have spent the last 16 years overthinking the answer to this question. I have never wanted to give my children a skewed understanding of where their worth comes from.

Why do we love our children?

Why do we value them?

I don’t want them to always hear, “Because you’re so cute,” and grow up to think their worth will diminish with their looks.

I don’t want them to always hear, “Because you’re so good,” and have them grow up to think they lose their value to me if they let me down.

I don’t want them to always hear, “Because you’re so smart,” and have them view themselves as worthless when they start struggling to grasp things that are difficult for them.

And of course I think it’s important to acknowledge that they are cute and good and smart. But that’s not why I love them.

The simplest and truest answer to his question didn’t come to me until later.

I love them because they are mine.

Sometimes they aren’t cute. I still love them. Sometimes they aren’t good. I still love them. Sometimes they aren’t smart. I still love them.

I love them because they are mine.

The need to know why we are valued is a human condition.

It’s also the human condition to desperately try to gain more worth—try to be loved more. It looks different for each of us—some try to be strong, some try to be smart, some try to be funny, some try to out-love, some try to be beautiful, some try to check off each of the above—none of us are immune. 

If the answer to God’s love rests on something about us, then what happens? We become scared and unsure, tossed back and forth, trying to throw more weight on the worthiness scale.

If the answer to God’s love rests on him alone, if he loves us just because he made us, just because we are his, then no ugliness or sinfulness or ineptness or uselessness on our part will diminish that.

The apple of God’s eye.

I’ve always wondered why David was called the apple of God’s eye. A murderer. An adulterer. A terrible parent. I’m sure there are many layers to that answer but maybe one layer is simply that he belonged to God.

I’ve always wondered why David was called the apple of God’s eye. A murderer. An adulterer. A terrible parent. Click To Tweet

Our worth is rooted solely in God. Any deviation from that truth brings uncertainty and insecurity. When we take our focus off of God and put it on ourselves, self-image issues strangle us. We’ve been bought with a price, our life is no longer about us. It’s about him.

  • Our worth is in being created in the image of God.
  • Our worth is in having been bought with the precious blood of God.
  • Our worth is in being adopted into the family of God.

We are worthy because he loves us and he loves us because of who he is.

For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another. But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. Titus 3:3-7

We are worthy because He loves us & He loves us because of who He is. Click To Tweet

23 thoughts on “Why do You Love Me?”

  1. Excellent post, Stephanie! I remember thinking along similar lines when my children were young, but I never actually articulated these thoughts as clearly as you have done here. Both for my children and for myself. To really take in the fullness of a love that is not dependent on you, is like scaling a mountain with a peak so high you can’t ever quite reach the summit. I breathe in what I can of God’s faithful, sustaining love, then breathe out and inhale again. This- “If the answer to God’s love rests on him alone, if he loves us just because he made us, just because we are his, then no ugliness or sinfulness or ineptness or uselessness on our part will diminish that” – so deeply beautiful.
    Thank you for your faith and thoughtful messages of God’s grace, truth and love!

  2. Ahhh…. kids ask the best questions! I love that your son asked you that. He just wants that loving reassurance from his mama that he is, indeed, loved. So sweet!
    And to tie this into why God loves us is brilliant! You got it, girlfriend, that we are loved for the same reasons you gave your son—because we belong to God. Matter of fact, we are His most treasured possession. We are His inheritance! How cool is that? Pretty cool indeed.

  3. This is so beautiful and powerful, Stephanie. Love your thoughts on not wanting your kids to think the why of you being glad they belong to you is looks, or smarts, or because they are good. But simply that they are yours. What a great analogy to how the Lord sees us the same exact way…the apple of His eye.

  4. I knew right from the title I was going to love this blog. I wasn’t wrong! A natural cryer, I am dabbing my eyes right now. First of all, I love your reasonings about your children… And I agree 100% I don’t want my children to think, either, that I love them because they are cute, smart, or witty, but because they are my precious gifts from Almighty God.
    All my life I have never been able to see God as a God who loves ME, others, maybe, but definitely not me, and even after meeting God, my mind still tells me He can’t possibly love me. This was just so beautiful, I have no words.
    I know in glory the first thing I will be doing after worshipping Him is asking the same question, “Why?”
    Thank you for this tear jerker. God bless you.

  5. And thank God for it! We have no hope of ever earning the love of God, or our parents for that matter. We are flawed, sinful, often mistaken, and often difficult. The fact that God loves us merely because we are his brings peace and security, an assurance that we are safe in him. Thank you for sharing this today.

  6. “Because you are mine.” Wow, powerful words to remember. Even if someone does not believe in Christ, He would still love them because they belong to Christ. It is a love we may never fully understand this side of heaven

  7. Hi Stephanie. The thought of us being worthy because God loves us is such a freeing concept. I love it!

    Regarding David being a man after God’s own heart, I get a sense that God saw him that way even before he chose him to be king and he had a God-honoring back story that we don’t get to know the details of (Acts 13:21-23), or at least he had exemplary honor toward God early in his life (as a teenager or young man). Then he continued to keep God’s commands throughout his reign, “except in the case of Uriah the Hittite” (1 Kings 15:4-5). And, of course, He chose David because David would honor Him throughout his life. David’s story is amazing with so many practical lessons.

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